Lisa, Inc. is going out of business.

Sad, but true. It is ending. There has been a hostile takeover and due to new management, some of you will have to be eliminated. Starting with those of you who are just here for your own selfish gain. So, please return all items mentioned and you will be escorted from my heart and mind shortly. Things that need to be returned: 1) ANY and ALL money that I ever gave to you. 2) Any gifts, such as iPhones, computer equipment, and any and all peripherals that go with these items. 3) Pieces of my heart and soul, if you can't seem to locate them, they are possibly located in your trash can, or perhaps you are using them for a mat to wipe your feet on, these items are of the utmost importance, and are of the highest priority for return. You WILL NOT be given a severence package. Thank you for your understanding in this matter. Have a nice day!!!